Champagne glasses clinked and the crowd turned into a screeching mass of noise, bubbling with an unmatched ferocity that it had matched at yesterday’s event. This scene was going to be good. It already had everything it needed to be a good one. Now it just had to deliver. A baby fell from the rafters but somebody caught it so it was fine. Another baby fell and that one was not caught, which was also fine because this baby didn’t exist. It was one of those non-babies that nobody knows about. Rough start but it was still on course, let’s keep it together please.

Dr. Yuxuutx had the floor. He had it. That is what he had. He pulled it up by his teeth, one floorboard at a time until he began weeping with hysteria. His own wife was not even here to witness this. He had forbidden her from coming and he did not regret it. Their conversation went like this:

“You’re not coming to the thing tomorrow, Malrianealealeaaeeanian.”

The funny thing about Dr. Yuxuxuty was he had a doctor of his own and this didn’t even disbar him from the doctor’s bar, where all the doctors went for their annual checkups. There was a lot of information in that sentence but this scene has to keep moving. Forget it.

Dr. Yuxucux continued. “And I’d like to thank everyone for coming this afternoon.” Scattered applause did not happen so he pressed right on through the awkward silence that would haunt his lonely nights near the fire. “We all knew Janemde personally but not everyone did, so we need to act as though we did so that we can do that.”

“Speech!!!” shouted a faceless member of the shrieking crowd. It was roiling with black smoke and smelled of an intense sulphuric blend of sulphur and sulphuric sulphur. Nobody had any empathy these days. The crowd laughed, a sickening broken sound like a saw against bone.

“Dr. Yuxuucx chuckled,” replied Dr. Yuxuciex, chuckling. He had a great sense of humor that nobody shared. He had no friends. For not the last time he was glad he had barred his wife from attending this catastrophe. His mind was out of control. This was the worst. “All right, all right, I think I can throw together a lil’ speech here,” he said in his good-natured way, his eyes gleaming and shooting lasers that killed several Company Men in the front row. They were quickly disposed of. Champagne sloshed and the angry ones in the back sounded their angry noises about it.

“The product is right on schedule,” said Dr. Yuxucuc’s clone. Clones were everywhere now that the government had passed Measure 34-DX1. The country had voted overwhelmingly against this unpopular initiative but the government slammed it through into law anyway. Most laws were passed in this fashion. The government could be trusted. “We’ve got 11,200 units deployed already, with maybe half a million more in production.”

The crowd chucked their champagne glasses into the air in revelry. This was absolutely out of control and they loved it.

Above the noise, Dr. Yuxucue’s clone’s clone picked up the threads of the tattered speech. “In approximately 39 days we’ll have data. That’s how long it takes to seed these things.”

SILENCE FROM THE FUCKKKKKKKKKING CROWWDDDD!!!

Dr. Yuxucux exchanged a look with his buddy who had sneaked onto stage. This was going exactly as planned except that it wasn’t at all. The clones marched off in a direction. “What’s next?” asked the guy without an interesting face.

“It’s all coming apart,” answered Yuxucux, referring to the scene in progress. “It’s like I’m making it up as I go along. I can’t see two feet in front of my face.”

“I’m not sure how to answer that.” Nobody had spoken this line so they began an investigation into where it had come from. Into its origins. The origins of the line were a mystery but when the Company started an investigation they would close it too. That’s just how the Company worked.

“If we’re going to do this we’re going to do this,” he said.

“Can we abort?”

“We can if you think we should. Personally I think it’s going great.”

“It’s not going great. It’s actually going really bad. Just look around.”

Everyone looked around and agreed. It was time for this shit show to end.