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July 01, 2017 - 202 words
The Theme is Beauty
Beauty is in the Sanskrit meditation music droning its perfect fifths and quartal harmonies in my new apartment, the scented sea foam candle flickering next to the bed and getting caught in the air that my ceiling fan shoots around the small space. It’s waking up alone and knowing I’m safe and healthy and free.
Beauty is getting a phone call from some pretty girls and making impromptu plans to meet up in the sparkling downtown metropolis, right where I used to work, for bad spaghetti, bad beer, and bad music. It’s hearing them say “Let’s hang out again tomorrow.”
Beauty is living with loss, feeling its power and wondering if you’ll ever want to muster the courage to open up like that again, or if you’ll meet someone who will make you want to.
Beauty is choosing to continue writing this thing when it feels like an uninspired cliche.
Beauty is realizing those psychedelics are never going to teach you something you don’t already know.
Beauty is wondering whether I should send this to the girl I’ve been thinking about lately. That’s not beauty. That’s just refusing to let go. Beauty is learning how to let go.