“AHOY there hey ho let’s do a fast-paced scene!” hollered Crawley from the back. Things were bad. Things were bleak. There was trouble in the back.

Hem, Bram, Crawley and all their stuff were busily HAULING through the floor of the Nurmermer Canyon. It was midday of one of the days that they were there and they were in trouble. A JIBBERJAB had appeared behind them moments ago, birthing itself in a loud birthing ceremony as it climbed out of the muddy ground in frenzied screams. Jibberjabs were fast. They chattered and they muttered and they went absolutely mad with rage when they couldn’t get what they wanted. That was the problem. This Jibberjab was trouble. It wanted the three lads and was a reasonless mindless creature of the Dark Matters.

“MOVE FASTER!” screamed Hem when he could. He was panicking. His courage on the Bridge of Caldering was nowhere to be found. Why? No explanation. Courage is a skill, a craft, a refined and practiced technique that is a fickle fickle FICKLE MISTRESS when one first courts her. She accompanies you on the Bridge of Caldering but abandons you on the floor of the Nurmermer Canyon? TREACHEROUS WITCH! FInd thy courage young lad for she waits for no one! Find her! Such a temperamental lass Lady Courage is when the young lads of the land first fall for her. BEWARE THE CAPRICIOUS WHIMS of Lady Courage! Quick to betray and a lifetime to be tamed.

Back to the scene. Crawley threw a frantic look behind him, sweat flingin’ off him like a waterflower, and witnessed the Jibberjab screeching along, arms jerking in unnatural nightmare motions and clicking/clackin’/cleeeeeeeeckin’ in its unbelievable horror language. This Jibberjab had one leg. Just one. For this reason and this reason alone the trio of Gilba Gilbans could outrun the freakish thing, but just barely, for a hoppin’ Jibberjab can still move swift when it wants to and HOOOOOOOOOOOkay lemme tell you this thing was out for blood. It needed some FRESH RED STUFF to feast upon. For upon the boiled blood doth a JIBBERJAB FEAST.

“FASTER!!” hollered Hem again, propelling himself into the Dimension of Plockeeeeeeet through complete force of will. He did it without thinking. For Hem the Younger indeed possess the innate ability to push himself into this dimension WILLY UPON THE NILLY. Men stronger than he could not perform such a feat, but that is not relevant to the ACTION. We will explore this ability later or we will not. That is a topic for another time.

“This is madness,” huffed Bram from the middle. They were more or less in single-file even though they had not structured their flight in such a way. Crawley was behind, laggin’ and draggin’. Briefly I consider sacrificing Crawley to the Jibberjab but remember I probably referenced his future in one of the earlier scenes. We must remain consistent with established facts.

The sun bore down. It was hot. Unnaturally hot. No sign of the Storms today. Jibberjabs could affect the weather. Did you know that? Hem pushed his thoughts into those of clarity. Clear the thoughts. They could not run forever. This Jibberjab (and all Jibberjabs according to the myths of the time, such as could be found these days and not erased by the frightened adults who could handle nothing more exciting than a new delivery of Palberbottoms) possessed limitless energy. Their stamina was unending for they LITERALLY sucked the force of the earth into their minds and Hem knew he would need to turn and fight. He slowed his pace. “RUN PAST ME,” he commanded his two friends. He had only seconds. Seconds to act. For some reason he imagined Melley was watching him, yeah, Melley Frumtarm, the lass from the WAYWARD SPIRIT night. We should write a followup to that scene since that just ended without notice. But Melley was not here to witness this breathtaking action.

Bram and Crawley roared past him and Hem came to a halt. The Jibberjab came skittering onward like some kind of goat-sized spider that needed blood. It was great. This was great. It was time. Immediately a ridiculously great sense of calm fell upon him. Hadn’t he said he wanted to do this again? Well well WELL Hem ol’ boy here you are, doin’ it again.

As the Jibberjab came babblin’ into him Hem clenched his fist and slammed it like a rock directly into his foe’s vibrating teeth. The Jibberjab’s skull exploded from the impact and a dark fog blew outward with a hideous squeak. Hem’s fist broke and a wave of intense pain washed over him like a wave on the beach. A moan emerged from the sky above and a cyclone wrapped its whirly twirlies down onto the pile of useless bones that was once the enraged Jibberjab. Like on the Bridge of Caldering, the cyclone darkened and the bones were whisked into the sky, vanishing.

Hem fought against the agony and steadied himself. Two Jibberjabs. Things had taken a turn for the turns ever since this confusing mission into the Nurmermer Forest. Canyon that is. NO such thing as the Nurmermer Forest. Pay attention please.

“You alright there Hem, aye?” Bram called. The lil’ fella was winded.

Hem did not reply at once. His thoughts were racin’ and he was not present. He was off in some sorta trance. “Aye. Or, no. No I am not,” he said, wincing and looking at his fist. It looked shattered and would not open, as though a Spell O’ The Sorcerers had skreeved it shut.

“Hem…” Bram said in his breathless scream, “you yerself developin’ a reputation as a killer of those things.”

“Have to get ourselves back to town,” Crawley said in his own breathless scream.

“Jibberjabs, these have to be Jibberjabs,” Bram announced.

“Gathered that,” said Hem. He could not move his fist. It remained clenched shut. A small part of his mind warned him this would become a catastrophic problem if not addressed in a fast manner.

“I see some forests, lads,” said Crawley. “Canyon’s windin’ down here and I reckon this Ravin’ River sends us right into Fleep Fleep forest.”

“Few more hours see us on the borders of town I suspect,” said what’s his name.

“Fist is right painful,” muttered Hem. “Keepin’ movin’ would be nice if we can keep that the order of things.”

“You okay though there hey ho, Hem?” said Bram. “Hooooooeeeey if that didn’t get my heart blastin’ right on outta my body!”

“We have to find ourselves in the company o’ Blom and Glen,” announced Hem. “My da ought to be finishin’ the job that Jibberjab tried to start if he learned what transpired here.”

“Blom’s taken a likin’ to ya, that fact is a fact,” said the factfinder (Bram).

“Can we STOW this conversation till we find ourselfs back in town?” said Hem with a fierce snap. “Fist is KILLIN’.”

Thunder echoed around the land and a spear o’ blue lightning hurled across the clear sky. “Into the forest, lads, and I reckon we’ll find ourselfs in the Deeps soon enough.” Somebody said that.