implacable indifference
April 28, 2017 - 187 words
While traveling alone through the American Southwest it occurred to me this was the longest Iād ever gone without companionship. I was determined to live untethered for a year, an arbitrary length of time but it made sense. I was a writer making a living with scraps from the magazine. When I set out I had fantasies of meeting other transient souls, wayward spirits who would intersect with my life and alter it in unforeseen ways. When I returned, I would be changed. I didn't know what I was doing but I trusted in trail magic.
This region of the United States was unlike any other in that it most closely represented my mental image of The Void: a vast indifferent expanse of indifference. I have no difficulty assigning human qualities to the grandeur of creation. While camping in the forest I felt nurtured, alive, listening to the music of the wind in the pines. The ocean is moody and terrifying, an alluring siren. I hiked through the mountains and faced their unforgiving judgment. But the Southwest desert: nothing. A VOID. A moon. Inhuman. I am alone.