6:00pm

"And a job well done, McMurphy, I'll be the first to say it. We don't all agree with your methods, but you get results, and that's what counts in this business." Senator Borgensteiner raised a plastic wine glass in a toast. His sllllllithering serpent's face gazed outward, red eyes gleaming in the painful halogen light. Halogen light bulbs cast bright light and last twice as long as standard bulbs, not normally a problem but Senator Borgensteiner's delicate scaly complexion was in danger of revealing itself to the arrogant masses, and we mustn't have that oh no we mustn't.

"Hear hear!" A crowd of a hundred identical faces cheered in some kind of pre-programmed cheer. To the cameras it looked real.

5:50pm

James McMurphy the Man of the Moment was speeding through Washington D.C. in his brand new busted-up Pontiac, dodging pedestrians and local trains. He was never much of a company man and would've preferred to drive one of the local organic brands, but when the government's paying, you keep your mouth shut. Isn't that right, McMurphy? He had an awards ceremony to get to. Senator "Fooling No One" Borgensteiner would be presenting him with some kind of bogus award for some fake achievements in a field he didn't work in. It didn't matter. Nobody knew what he did. This was all a sham. The whole thing was a sham and that's why it was so beautiful. He checked his watch. He had ten minutes till this useless distraction of a ceremony was set to begin.

2:14pm

McMurphy was on the phone, jabbering like the Man of the Moment for which he was internationally known: "Yeah I can do it. Gonna cost you o' course. Yeah it's pure. Pure I said. PURE…. PURE!!!!!! P-U-R….. very funny you jackass. Nobody cuts this stuff, pal. You know where it comes from and I'm a little pissed you even asked that question of me. James McMurphy. Voted Man of the Moment one year running."

There was a considerable silence on the other end. He waited through 30 minutes of silence! The Man of the Moment had no patience for this kind of shit. He slammed down the phone, a gesture that consisted of tapping a button. Nobody had the type of phone you slam anymore.

11:00am

Senator Borgensteiner was frantically scrubbing his windshield off. At 11am you're not frantically scrubbing anything unless you've broken the very laws you helped ratify. Whatever that word means. Do you even ratify laws? Who cares. Laws were not on the senator's mind at the moment. You know what was on his mind? Getting this god damn car cleaned before anyone wandered in, because if that happened he would have another stain to power wash off the concrete. Gotta avoid extra work, that's why he became a senator. #DoYourJob (hashtags don't work, just like government officials).

10:00am

The press conference that was scheduled at 10am commenced at 10am. "Yes our top men are on it," Borgensteiner replied in his expertly honed politician's drawl, the hisses and clicks of his native tongue dialed down to a mere minimum due to the national broadcast he was currently making. The entire country was watching this, minus the percentage of the population ensnared by the Super Bowl, which was 100%. Super Bowl XXLCXIX!!! NFL SHOWDOWN!! This year's Doritos commercial is hilarious.

"Yes we are outraged that the leaks occurred at all, and the damage to the very concept of democracy is incalculable. We're continuing our investigation of this grievous breach of national security and I promise those responsible will be brought to swift justice. That's the America I believe in!" Applause littered the room like old litter. A couple more bullshit lines like that should keep the newspapers busy. He was the one who authorized the leak in the first place. This job was so easy. As a lad he never expected power could be so addicting. It was like a drug. Drugs were great too by the way, he'd done plenty of those. Anything that had a street name. In fact three different drugs were screaming through him right now. But you can't OD on power. ODing on power just gives you more power. Who goes to jail for too much power?

Borgensteiner cackled in uncontrolled glee, directly into the microphones, forgetting himself for a moment.

9:30am

McMurphy shook the senator's hand, gripping it in a loose relaxed style similar to that of his new jeans. "Uh well thanks for the warning, Senator. Could've used a heads up before the contaminant spread halfway across the globe."

"Fix it," the calcified pancreatic cyst of a politician replied with a harsh screech that ruptured Beckleson's eardrums. Beckleson was an unpaid intern so his cries for help went unacknowledged. He wasn't even supposed to be here.

McMurphy on the other hand was not a man sensitive to loud noises and so remained unaffected by the senator's subtle sonic strike. "I'll handle it, Senator. And you can thank me tonight at this fucking awards ceremony." He spun on his oiled-up heel and sauntered out of the office as though he had his life under control. He had work to do!