"And of course, in accordance with the Bolson Construction Company guidelines, her last name must end in son."

Link arched his eyebrow. "Huh?"

"Them's the rules," Bolson said. "I didn't make 'em up. I just wrote 'em." He turned back to his business, which was watching his workers.

"I know your COMPANY rules... I just figured you could loosen up a bit when it came to your new wife."

"Can't do it. The guidelines say so." He pulled out the guidelines and pointed to the clause that said so.

Link did not read anything that was put in front of his face. "How am I supposed to find you a wife whose name ends in son?" Link asked. "Jesus Christ... why am I even doing this? WHY?"

"Well fella, you managed to find me plenty of employees." Bolson gestured all around him at the workers of Tarrey Town, all hard at work building the big hotel. They were all happy to be working here. You could tell because they were smiling constantly. "From all over Hyrule you found me some stellar employees! All very happy. They love working for me. All ending in son!"

"Yeah but," Link stammered, "these are your god damn employees. You want to apply this rule to your personal life too?"

"Now don't get hostile with me, young man," Bolson said. "Guidelines say so. Can't violate the guidelines."

"YOU wrote the guidelines."

"Can't violate these rules. Just can't do it. Look. Here's the rules right here. Read them. Nobody's makin' ya do this for me, I just figured if you're to help a fella out you oughta be accomodating."

Before Link could argue further, a strong capable Bolson Construction Company approached the scene. "Hey boss..."

"Yes son?"

"I'm not your son. But I'm just wondering where you want this stack o' wood here? We got some shipments comin' in and Horfvson and Grageraetgerson don't got no space for 'em yet."

"We'll figure it out. In the meantime, you are to read page 45 of the guidelines."

"I'm not... No, I have work to do."

Bolson fixed the worker with an icy glare and said, "You are to address me as 'father.'"

The worker wiped his whole face with his hand and replied, "I... am not..."

"You count your ass lucky to be here, you loser." Bolson gave the man a steady glare and said, "You ARE my son, son. That's the contract we signed and that's what you agreed to. I'm proud of you. At least, that's what I would say if that were true. Now listen, go get that son that's working in the sun over there and have him report in. We'll figure out a place to put that wood just as soon as we sort out where we're puttin' the other wood that came in yesterday after we find some space for the wood that this fella Link here brought in the day before that. 500 bundles of high quality wood! Needed it all too. Love me some wood. Need more wood. Think you can do that for me, son?"

Neither Link or this other guy knew who Bolson was addressing so neither of them responded.

"WE NEED MORE INITIATIVE IN THE BOLSON CONSTRUCTION COMPANY!" screamed Bolson all of a sudden. "THIS WORK ETHIC ISN'T WORKING! YOU!" He rounded on Link. "BRING ME MY GOD DAMN WIFE. YOU KNOW THE RULES." He stormed off and started shouting obscenities at all the workers nearby. Some of them shouted back. "FUCK YOU" he yelled.

The guy that was talking earlier said "You know. My name doesn't even end in son."

"That so?" Link didn't care.

"That's so," said the guy, not picking up on anything. "Fact is, name's Drobston." He put his hands over his mouth and gave Link the "sssshhhshshshshshsh" gesture.

Link was not listening because he had left some time ago, taking the opportunity to unfurl his whatever parachute thing and fly off the huge mountain the Tarrey Town was sitting on. He sailed over the bay and landed in a marshy grove filled with old rusted guardians. Suddenly he was in wild territory. It made no sense that the Bolson Construction Company would try and force the creation of an entire town here in the middle of nowhere with scant resources and old parts.