"For twenty rupees, young lad, try your hand at my famous Shooter Game!!" The large potbellied man with tomato paste for a face bellowed at Link as soon as he entered the shop. He had just arrived in Hyrule Castle Town for the first time, and he was dazzled and dazed by the sights of the big city! Sounds and sights and smells and all the other senses! This was a totally new world compared to KorkirkirkffffForest. The journey across Hyrule Field was long and tiresome. Not so much dangerous but just long and tiresome. Do you understand? He needed an inn or a bed, or at least some water. He had wandered into the Shooting Gallery by accident. He just wanted some rest.

"COME ON LITTLE BOY!" goaded the intense man from the other side of the counter. "PAY UP and let's play the game!! 20 rupees!! It's fun!" A guard of some sort detached himself from the wall and straightened his vest like a bodyguard or something.

Link still said nothing. The shooting gallery was a god damn nightmare. The walls were painted in every color he had ever seen, and circus clown organ music piped in through some baffling speaking system on repeat, the same four notes cycling over and over, no stop, no pauses, just music over and over. Something smelled strange and he realized a mountain of cardboard boxes had been set on fire in the corner over there and the smoke wafted above, giving the impression of hell.

"GET OVER HERE LITTLE BOY."

Link turned tail and busted out of the Shooter Gaalalgeryry before anything horrific happened to him. The buzzing humm of the street crowd was a welcome change from the music inside. Immediately he slipped into the throngs of people and vanished. All the adults looked down on him in some mysterious fashion. Had they not seen Kokiri clothing before? He was no maniac! He was a boy! A boy from the forest!! He just needed some fucking sleep!!

"Oh! Teehee fairy boy!!!" a tinkling musical voice interrupted his 10-year old thoughts of fear and disorder. He was a kid!! He realized he had bumped into a girl about his age. She had bright red hair and was wearing a neat thing around her neck.

"Sorry," Link said uncertainly.

"Fairy boy, teehee!!" she said again. Her bright blue eyes were blue and bright. She looked up at Navi, who had hidden herself beneath Link's lil' green cappy cappc cpap cpap cap cap cap.

"I guess," Link said. "Sorry."

"Fairy boy says sorry!!" she tittered. "Fairy boy has no idea where he is!! Fairy boy is in the city!"

"Yeah. Okay." Link backed away. Was everyone in this god damn city a fucking whackjob????

"Fairy boy retreats but he knows not where he retreats to," said the red-haired girl, who had lost all offfffff fheeee44444444444444hhhhhhhhhh nbvvvvvvvvvvh