"I meant what I said," Darunia ordered. "ROCKS FROM THE CAVERN ONLY!"

The other Gorons shuffled awkwardly, exchanging glances that suggested nobody wanted to be the one to say it.

"If there are no other questions," Darunia bellowed importantly, "then GET TO WORK!"

A Goron stepped forward. It was Normation, the local piece of shit. Everybody hated him but he did speak his mind, and no one else in the tribe was willing to stand up to Darunia so Normation had become the de facto representative of the local unit.

"Lord Darunia," Normation drawled in his insufferable twang. He was from the Southern Ranges where folk don't speak proper Goronese.

"Normation," Darunia rumbled. "I am displeased. GET TO WORK."

"Not before I say my say, Lord Darunia," Normation countered, undaunted. "If we can only eat rocks from the cavern, Goron City will surely starve."

"Impossible," Darunia seethed. "I do not like being challenged. Did you read the rules, Normation????" The Gorons in attendance shrank back from Darunia's rage. But not Normation.

"The Cavern is sealed, MY LORD," replied Normation. "We cannot get into it!! We will starve if we cannot eat the rocks," he gestured expansively, "that are all around us. Surely this decree is in jest. Can't we just keep eating what we've been eating? There's nothing wrong with these rocks."

In response, Darunia curled up into a big tight ball and charged his magic meter. With an earth-shaking roar, Darunia rolled out of the hall, spikes tearing up the ground and running over some of the younger Gorons who could not avoid him in time. Normation leapt to the side and banged his head on one of the chairs that the tribe servant had set out. It didn't matter. This was a matter that went far beyond the chairs. This was about the survival of Goron City itself.

"I will need to speak to his wife," Normation thought aloud, letting his voice carry into the upper reaches of the city. Goron City was several levels high, and only true scholars knew all its secrets. Normation, being no such scholar, had no such interest in such secrets. "She will know how to handle this unreasonable demand. We can't just eat from the Cavern!!!"

Normation trudged up the thirty levels of Goron City, slowly forgetting what his purpose was. This is why everybody hated him. He wandered into a bar and ordered a couple of Lon Lon Psycho-milks. He drank deeply from his first canister and sighed loudly. "Ah god this stuff is so good."