Test Drive in Foe Territory
June 17, 2019 - 264 words
"Takin' it for a test drive!!" shrieked Link as he threw down his shield and coasted down the hill like some flaming moblin on fire. He had never heard the phrase before (test drive) but he just liked to throw words out and see what effect they had on the world. This was not like Link's character at all so he clamped his mouth shut and pulled out his bow.
AND ARROWS, for arrows were necessary in these parts given the prevalence of moblins and goblins and boblins and roblins and ddddddddddddoblins milling about like some sort of fleet. The volley of weapons blew into the army of enemies and Link loved it. He yelled with glee as his shield came to a stop in the midst of the destruction. He pulled his sword from his back and viciously sliced the fucking face off another moblin who DARED tread too close to the thing. It howled with pain.
BLACK BLOOD blew up into the sky like some kind of reliable geyser as Link dispatched the enemies. "THIS! AND THAT! AND ANOTHER ONE!" he narrated his own moves for the benefit of no one. It was important that he follow the forms for that was how he was trained. The rain did not exist today. Not today. Not ANY day. He would make short work of this army of nothings. They were NOTHING. Expendable, unreliable, dim-witted FOOLS who guarded the Dark Fortress.
Link cackled and continued his god damn massacre. He needed to gain entrance into this labyrinth so he could get the new boomerang.