Hungry, desperate, and tired, Link collapsed at the fairy fountain. He was gasping for breath and dust was coming out of his clothes with every heave of his body. He needed a fairy and yep yep yep there she was now, rising out of the sparkling water and humming the Zelda theme. 

"Lovely tune," sang the fairy. She glanced down at the wounded Link. "Now my boy, close your eyes and feel my healing powers wash over you. You have journeyed far and wide, and I can help you recover your strength. Relax!!" With that, she breathed a line of green lines directly onto him. It was neat. That was neat. It was all neat.

"Thanks, fairy," Link replied with a vigor he had not known he possessed. That was what fairies did. They gave you some fucking energy, man. Holy fuck now what, now what? What to do? Grab your sword man and swing it. Just swing it around. How's life? Talk about life. Talk about your opinions.

"I just don't give a shit. I just don't care. I love it." Link was gesticulating subtly but constantly. "I just don't care. Everyone else gets sucked in watching this shit and I don't. I'm better. I'm smarter than them. I understand everything that goes on behind the scenes. It's just a business. How are you all so stupid?" Link turned up the Halo 4 soundtrack because he liked this part. "It's all commercial bullshit designed to keep you in a perpetual state of adolescence. Not me though. I don't care about this!! It makes me mad. Not really. I actually don't care. I don't give a SHIT."

The fairy was distinctly uncomfortable but could not return beneath the waters of her pool yet because the rules of the game prevented her from doing so until Link exited the cave. It was just the way things were programmed. Not good or bad, it just was. That's morality for you. Just an illusion. No such thing. WAKE UP.

Link was still pacing the cavern forcing his opinion into the air like a pillow too big for its pillowcase. "Everyone is just so sucked into this shit and they don't see it's just a massive moneytrap. These corporations don't care about fans. They care about fans' money. That's all it is. How can you not see this? How can you fall for it everytime? Don't you want something different? How can you be this into something?"

He coughed and sniffed and blew his nose and laughed. He was superior because he understood how all this shit worked. Now he just needed to find some friends.