"Hey Link! Check this out!" an ally shouted. Link rarely had allies but this time he did and he had to admit: it was kind of nice! They were in the middle of a skirmish. Three billion Tektketiers had ambushed Link and Allier after they crossed over the Biltmorton Ridge, a treacherous ridge known for its Tiekeritiers. But they had no choice: they had to cross it.

"I'm watchin'," answered Link. He was not watching because he was busy fighting. The last week or so had been quiet: too quiet, some would say. And indeed the quietude was a portent of ill omens. The Biltmorton Ridge had the traps waiting.

Allier cast Killer Magic and vaporized most of the Tekekriters while Link cast another spell of Killer Magic and took out the rest of them. With an impressive flourish of his blade, the last Tekekteir blew apart in a catastrophic bloody mess.

Allier sighed. "Whew. That was insane!"

"About typical honestly," replied Link, wiping the black blood off his sword and sheathing it with a satisfying click. "What's next?"

"If you're asking me, you've gotta admit there's no way I'll know," replied Allier, whose tongue started flippin' around weirdly. The hair on his head began to expand and contract, and then it turned colors. His eyes bulged and his nose disappeared. His right hand spun crazily and at impossible angles. His right leg turned into water and then vanished without a trace. His face was a churning mess of different emotions, obscured by a cloud of black flies. His torso began to stretch vertically until it was like 20 feet tall. His shoulders started coming apart until they looked like a stairway. Allier began jerking around.

"What the fuck?" Link shouted. He unsheathed his sword yet again and got ready for anything, because this was fucking nuts, man. It was not what he wanted to deal with. He would not die on the Biltmorton Ridge.

Allier continued to transform and morph like a psychotic thing. It made no sense. Loud sounds blew out of various cracks and holes in the figure's joints. He no longer resembled anything. Thunder rumbled and suddenly it rained. The rain made Allier scream and die.

"What the fuck?!" Link screamed at the empty air. Now there was nothing. He'd been dealing with this shit forever and it was driving him nuts.